Today I fell out of love with Tyler.

Mark it on your calendars. 

I’ve spent almost a year chasing him, crying over him, trying to figure him out. 

I spent the last five months checking my mailbox and wringing my hands. 

And today I realized it’s been three days since he was released and after I texted him that one time to verify he had received my letters, he never called me. 

And as I found myself waiting by the phone, I realized nothing had changed. 

Nothing would ever change. I’ve told myself this before, but never really truly accepted it as truth. 

He doesn’t love me. He’s a little boy. He doesn’t know what love is. (cue Foreigner)

And just like that, I had my moment. That moment where you finally stop seeing someone as blindingly fantastic and you recognize them for who they really are. 

Tyler is a young boy in a shitty situation, dealing with it in a shitty way because he has zero coping skills. And that is not what I want or need for myself. I’m really proud of myself, actually.